*gone*
questions March 13, 2008
Do you ever find someone who writes/paints/looks/(enter your art form here) like you – but you’ve never heard of them? (or you haven’t studied their work?) Or even had someone say, have you studied so-and-so because you sound a lot like them? Does it weird you out? I’ve had this happen A LOT in the past year.
Maybe I’ve been living under a rock for too long, and I’ve never had my hands in just one discipline long enough to cover all the bases. I started writing poetry only a few years ago, and even after I started writing it took me a while to realize, HEY you should READ MORE POETRY. (duh!) So now that I read more (continuously catching up), I’m finding which camp I’m in (but let’s not get too segregated) and then finding people who either have strong similarities in subject matter or strong similarities in style to the way I’ve been writing. Yet it’s all new to me.
I believe that we all have a subconscious where things get dumped in and at some point it all comes together like Fright Night and that’s how we make wonderful casseroles. But don’t you have to already have the food in your fridge for this to happen? What if you never picked up celery at the grocery store but someone eats your casserole and swears that it has celery in it? This analogy is falling apart so I’ll just put it this way…
I can’t figure out if this is a good thing – that my instincts are putting me in the same boat as other people (respected, talented, accomplished people,) and that maybe we’re all onto something – or that this is a bad thing, as in I shouldn’t be in this boat, or that people will think that I purposely tried to copy these people even though I’ve never heard of them before, or that it’s all been said and done and GET OUT. And then I’m like, OK, should I start taking in what they are doing and learn from it? or should I stay as far away from it as I can so I can continue to follow my natural discourse? Or should I study them until I can make myself different? I don’t know. I’m even too embarrassed to name names. And I should say that I rarely try to write like anyone, and usually my favorite writers have a very different style or context than my own. I just write, and try to follow universal or instinctual rules of thumb about craft, and come out with what I’ve got.
Coverage of women in poetry (and poetry in general) January 22, 2008
Jilly @ Poetry Hut brought up an important conversation the other day:
So what’s the deal? Why do the mainstream media hardly ever do articles or reviews about women poets? It is often hard to find ANY article to link to.
Are there more men poets than women poets? (When I got my MFA, the poetry students were mostly women.) Are men poets simply better poets than women poets? More interesting? Better at self-promotion maybe? Do articles in which the subject has a penis make for increased sales or something? Are men poets more likely to get published by a large press? What? Is? The? Deal? Here?
and again today.
My response:
As someone who used to work for the MSM, I must say that in some ways, yes, they are responsible for our lack of information. But at the same time, a lot of reporters (I’m talking about your average newspaper reporter here, not the books editor, which we all know is a dying position) just don’t always have the time to go & seek out the news and profile stories. (They’re put on breaking news and PR releases instead.) Often are not in the know about who they SHOULD be covering. The best thing we can do as people in the poetry/writing community is to send word about local poets (especially women!) who win prizes/have interesting lives/work with local organizations/publish books/run local presses, etc. to the media and tell them we’d like to see them written about. So much of what goes into the news comes from tips from readers. I hope this adds some perspective to the debate. However, I do agree that there is an overall lack of women in the media (as makers of media and subjects in media), and that this is a problem.
Seriously, the only way I would go back to being a staff writer for a newspaper again is if I could cover books, authors, artists, films, and/or musicians ONLY. Every once in a while, I got to squeeze in a cool Q&A with a local poet, or an art review of a big gallery show (that the other arts reporters were not already covering.) But most of the time it was what church has had another fire and where should we direct traffic for NASCAR week and what new homeowners association was popping up, etc., etc. The true reason I left my job was not just the crappy pay, but the realization that it would take another 30 years of crappy reporting to ever get to cover what I really wanted to do full-time. This is why freelancing is so much better – if you can balance it with your other work life. But then again, I think I have put myself in a corner as far as that goes, too. Maybe when I move I will tackle the magazine article ideas floating in my head and stop settling for the absolute least amount of creative energy (although it is informative) for my pay.
poetry reading – Steve Gehrke…and me January 10, 2008
Last night I attended the MFA readings at Queens, which featured poet Steve Gehrke, the author of Michelangelo’s Seizure, winner of the National Poetry Series and quite possibly one of the coolest poetry book titles ever, in my personal opinion.
Steve was one of those poets who in person reads his poems like he’s in a marathon – fast and barely taking breaths from beginning to end. At first, this was distracting. I took a big breath for him to ease the pressure and nervously looked around at other people who were leaning forward and squinting as if someone had sucked the air right out of them. But after a little bit, it was kind of like sitting in the passenger seat of a fast moving car, with your head out the window and your hair smacking you in the face, catching glimpses of signs and other landmarks on the road as you zoom by. He had some phrases and images in there that just really hit me with a “pow!” that may have been more like a tap if it were just read silently while reclined on the couch. But I’m yet to know that for sure, since as soon as I got home I had to bury my head in some freelance paper work, while Scott selfishly broke in my brand new copy of Michelangelo’s Seizure for me. Jerk 
I’m a little (ok a lot) jealous about Gehrke and this book. You see, that title should belong to my first manuscript. Not because I’ve already written a poem with that title (because I haven’t), but because it’s the kind of poem I imagine myself writing, or that I hope to write one day. If the personal must weave its way into everything I write, then it would seem only natural that I would write a poem with this subject matter because 1) I’ve had minor seizures on and off since I was five years old, 2) I have been a visual artist most of my life (longer than I’ve been a poet, that’s for sure), 3) Michelangelo is one of my favorite painters, 4) I’ve stated in MFA application essays and in other mediums that if I were to tackle a “research project,” it would be “to read the biographies of visual artists to write dramatic narratives or tie their own narratives into my own.” Lame, lame, lame, I know. But I’ll read this book anyway and hope for the best and that my subconcious doesn’t try to steal everything. And I’m a firm believer that just becaues someone else has written about something, doesn’t mean that you can’t. It just makes it harder.
I am a couple steps ahead (or is it behind?). I do already have a few poems that separately deal with art and seizures, although I’m sure that I’ll erase them from all memory down the road.
(This is where I take a big gulp and consider coming back here later to delete all of this)
two poems by me…
(Oops you’re too late… she did indeed delete these!)
domestic heroines in literature December 13, 2007
Continuing our conversation from yesterday, slightly, there is an interesting article up on Book Slut about how poet and author Jill Bialosky created her character for “The Life Room” (a book I have not read, although it sounds enticing!):
“When I was a young reader the models in literature for women protagonists who struggled between passion and domestic responsibility were Anna Karenina, Madame Bovary, Edna Pontellier, and Lily Bart. There were others but these destitute heroines were the ones that left an impression. Passion was terminal; female protagonists swept up in love affairs ended up killing themselves. The message was that abundance of feeling led to tragedy. If women in novels were not killed off by their creator, they struggled like Isabel Archer in Portrait of a Lady or Dorothea Brooke in Middlemarch to define themselves against erotic desire and the confines of marriage. I wanted to create a contemporary heroine with deep emotional intelligence and intensity who could find a way to balance passion and selfhood.”
Charlotte People: Mark Your Calendars December 10, 2007
WHEN: January 7, 8pm; January 9 and 12, 8:15pm
WHAT: The low-residency M.F.A. program in creative writing at Queens University of Charlotte’s next series of faculty readings.
WHERE: Sykes Auditorium, in The John H. Sykes Learning Center, Queens University of Charlotte, 1900 Selwyn Avenue, Charlotte, N.C.
WHO: Emily White, Steven Rinehart, Brighde Mullins, Peter Stitt, Cathy Smith Bowers, Naeem Murr
COST: Free! Open to the public.
Where I am today October 18, 2007
I survived my “busiest work week” of the year at my day job, so most of my worries are behind me (or at least better-cloaked.)
In between it all, here’s where I am. Not bad for mid-October:
Poetry:
- I’ve found more time to write and turned 2 previous drafts into more final drafts, plus started a couple new poems.
- Still reading Hicok & Guest.
- I heard back from a literary journal that is still considering 2 of my poems for publication; should hear back from them in a month or two, they said.
MFA applications:
- Filled out half of the recommendation forms/application forms for schools. Still about 5 more to go…
- Secured J. Rice for letters of recommendations, bless him.
- Filled out transcript-request forms & mailed them to Queens (and crossing fingers that the Registrar’s office does all the paperwork on time for once. We’ve had a mutual blacklist for years.)
Poetry Group:
- I talked to one of the owners of Century the other day about our project plans. He said they’re still interested, and also gave me more history of what they’re all about: a start-up place for cultural groups. He told me about a previous slam group that met there and then grew out of the space (they’re now at Wine-Up.) I felt very encouraged by his enthusiasm.
- I’m meeting with Lindsey this weekend to finalize more details. We’re still not set on a name yet, which I think is really putting us behind (I can’t start a MySpace page until we have a name/email address for our group.) But I know she’s been working hard and has a back-up venue for us in the same vicinity as Century, too. Plus, she’s better about getting the word out to other poets than I am.
- Moment of doubt: I’m wondering if we’re going to get this off the ground before Christmas, considering how busy we both are right now.
General:
- I finally got a good hard cleaning of my apartment out of the way, so I can sit my laptop down in just about every room without having to move a cat/ball of cat hair, pile of magazines, and 2 coffee mugs. Happy house = happy writing life.
- Halloween Party on Oct. 27. BOO-YAH.
- Shopping sprees are amazing for the mind, body and soul. Thanks for the inspiration, Tim Gunn. Thanks for the paychecks, Corporate America.
- Food – I’ve cut myself back down to eating meat only once a day, mostly. I’m also eating out less, so I can control all my meals and how many vegetables, whole grains, etc. goes into everything. These are basic things that I’ve upheld for years, but fell away from for a while. It feels good to be back “on track.”
- I’ve had a technical fairy come through my life and make some much needed upgrades. More on this later, when I’m actually writing from my home computer.
Sound board – how’s everyone else out there?
Personal essay draft #1* June 16, 2007
What is the reward for writing? Why do you do it?
Writing poetry is the only thing that as I’m doing it, the “I” in me disappears. It’s me at my most humble. I stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, and lose myself in the language. Conversely, poetry is the only art form in which the true me comes through. I write because I cannot imagine not writing. And even when I’m procrastinating writing, I am thinking about writing. For the longest time in my life, I struggled with why I apply meaning to everything. I have been told that I “take life too seriously.” Poetry gave me the reason why I do this, in addition to giving me an outlet. But I don’t just write poetry to confess or to heal. It is the purest way in which I can express and connect. I don’t know why I do it other than to share it with another. In poetry, each word, character and line is weighted. In life, things probably happen much more casually, but I can’t help but see more meaning in some exchanges. I am interested in the words said and unsaid. By comparing and contrasting in my poetry what is in my life, I feel that I make some sense of it. Poetry is the collage I make from what I know.
*
(I have studied visual art for many years. I have the technical skills to sketch and paint from real life, but I feel that my vision is always lacking in my compositions. This is not the case with poetry. With poetry, I feel at home. It isn’t some other person’s goggles I put on for a while to see how well I can see through them. I see poetry with my own eyes.)
*I should note that some of these questions I am using in this exercise come from Tom Kealey’s handbook.
progress report April 30, 2007
Well, it’s the end of April. I can’t believe how fast this year is going by.
My monthly accomplishments in the writing world:
- drafted 4 poems, finalized 2.
- attended 2 literary events.
- worked my way to page 40 in my GRE Math Refresher study book.
- mastered every word up to “Epicure” in the GRE vocab book.
doesn’t seem like much, but I’m proud of it!
